Bike people really get under my skin. For example, those clothes have to be some of the most pretentious, revolting and offensive fashion statements ever made. I mean, damn, what's up with them clothes?! What's that s**t all about?! The last thing I want to see while I'm trying to navigate Atlanta traffic on, say, the frighteningly claustrophobic corridor otherwise known as DeKalb Avenue is some poser cyclist's a** encased in spandex!
Throw in their whole "share the road" mentality and the silly hand signals, and I tell you what you've got: people with way too much time on their hands. It's amazing more drivers just don't arbitrarily mow some of these dipsh*ts down for sheer amusement, sorta like mailbox baseball or something. So, I have but one message for bike people:
With those ugly-a** clothes and that attitude, you better be able to pedal at least 50 MPH if you want to share the road, motherf***er, that's all I've got to say. If you can't, I'm not responsible for what happens.
I've got a hand signal for you, Lance, and it's real easy to decipher. It's right here along with a sock full of marbles that has your name on it.
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I think it's Mondays or something, but off of Monroe a gang of these turds gather around to bike as slow as they can on the street. From what I've heard they "are trying to send a message to vehicle drivers" that biking is the way to go.
ReplyDeleteSo, let me get this straight...They crowd up and purposely go to a snail's crawl to prove a point?
Fucking idiots.
They would get super close to cars and look at you all smug and shit.
I like riding a bike, but I'm sure as fuck not going anywhere near an "Atlanta motorist", especially my girlfriend and her crazy ass driving.
When I see those f**kers with their weird-ass, pointy little helmets that are supposed to make them more "aerodynamic" but only succeed in making them look functionally retarded, I wish I had a broomstick to jam into their front rim as I pass by so that I can laugh as they flip over their handle bar and land directly in the path of the asshole that's following too close behind me. That would almost make the jail time worth it.
ReplyDeleteyou jealous fat-asses all need to hit the treadmill before you can even squeeze your v-jay-jays into a sleek pair of spandex boulder-holders like me. that's if you can unwedge your lard from behind the wheels of your carbon-spewing fat wagons. enjoy bike to work month. oh, yeah. that's if anyone was stupid enough to hire you retards.
ReplyDelete- gluteous maximus
My beef with share the road is:
ReplyDeleteIf I drove my car at 20 miles an hour in a 45, in the middle of the road... you'd honk.