Don't get me wrong...if it's Woodley Park-Zoo Station or some crazy train station like that, or if you're disabled in some way, escalators are great. The losers I'm referring to are the ones in prime physical condition you see just "riding" along on the escalator like it's a ride at Disney. These are the same chowder heads that just stand there on those moving walkways at the airport. Naturally, escalator "riders" don't discriminate between which side of the step they ride on - left, right, it doesn't matter to them. They seem to especially gravitate around steps occupied by fellow "riders," in effect creating a clog for those of us that aren't scared to use our legs and maximize the effect of moving while moving. The fog surrounding their everyday existence is so thick, you'd need a sock full of manure as big as a basketball to beat into them the concept of letting people pass on the left. There's nothing more gripe-worthy than missing your train in the morning cuz a bunch of "riding" douche bags in front of you decide to read the paper or, more frequently, stare downward or upward toward the escalator's destination without moving a muscle, forcing you into their bleak existence for an excruciating 30 or 40 seconds.
My guess is these are the same tool bags that drive 55 in the left-hand lane.
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John,
ReplyDeleteWes M. here. Saw you started this on Facebook, and because griping is one of my favorite pastimes, I figured I would check it out.
As those close to me know, "riding" on escalators is probably my biggest pet peeve. They were put there to make you faster, not lazier. If you notice, those who are standing are usually the ones who could most benefit from a little stair-routine exercise. I have even thought about starting a guerrilla sticker campaign here in Chicago, reminding people of the simple traffic concept of "stand/slow on right, pass/fast on left."
I would, however, like to add one exception:
Luggage. If you are at the airport (or are going to or coming from the airport), I will excuse your standing to the right to let others pass on both up and down escalators. This does not excuse, however, your golf bag, ski set, or entirely oversized duffel bag from taking up the entire width of the step.
Looking forward to future gripes.
They are exactly the same tool bags. Stand to the ride. Walk to the left. Malls are the worst cause there is no excuse to plow through people. Airports are a nice excuse to passive aggressively push through the crowd. Rollerboards in front of you DBs!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I ride the escalator, but I tend to stand to one side or at least see if anyone behind me wants to go around. I have bad knees, so stairs are a little sucky for me from time-to-time. The moving sidewalks in the airport are a different story. I hate those people that just stand there with a passion and I think they are responsible for at least 50% of all airport rage related incidents.
ReplyDeleteI poop on escalator riders. It's such a commie invention.
ReplyDeleteSgt. Slaughter - that's the greatest comment in comment history. Thanks for the feedback!
ReplyDelete