I want to shove your vanity tag up your a**.

Vanity tags. Vanity plates. In Georgia, they're even called, ahem, "prestige plates" (what a f***ing joke!). Whatever, you know what I'm talking about. Personally, I prefer to call them a**hole banners. You know why? Cuz I've never encountered someone that had one that wasn't - you guessed it - a giant a**hole. There isn't a sock big enough on the face of the Earth, nor enough nails to fill it with, to knock some sense into these douche bags.

Of course, given the a**hole factor, the little annoying messages conveyed on a**hole banners have zero merit (with the exception of letting everyone on the road know their owner's an a**hole). Nope, instead of something that might be worthwhile for the rest of us to see (e.g., HELLO) we're instead exposed to the sort of self-centered comment you'd expect from a total a**hole like: LVRBOY, IMHOT or SUPRFRK.

My personal favorites are the plates that incorporate the make of the car such as MYBWM or LNDROVR. The dipsh*ts possessing these plates are actually paying extra money to tell you something you could deduce by just looking at their f***ing car. What in the hell is wrong with these people?! Oh what it must be like to exist in their world of self-importance and excitement!

You know what would take actual balls? Taking the $100 per year you waste telling people the obvious (i.e., that you're an a**hole) and instead donating it to something like the American Cancer Society. That would help transfer some of your obvious self-worth to those struggling desperately to deal with real issues that are a bit more important than figuring out how to squeeze the lofty impressions you have of yourself (or your car) into 7 characters or less.