WTFIGOW the guy who designs parking lots?!

OK Mr. Parking Lot Design Guy, I have but one question: What the F***?! Your name wouldn't happen to be Marquis de Sade, would it? With your knack for taking a seemingly simple concept and turning it into a game of Russian Roulette, you'd be the motherf***ing MVP of that family.

I especially admire your designs that simultaneously incorporate multi-ton vehicles coming at you from all directions, people walking around everywhere that are usually obstructed from view thanks to your krafty parking space configurations, crazy overhanging height restictors and, last but not least, stop signs that are not visible at windshield level because they're painted on the asphalt and totally invisible thanks to the front end of my car.

Of course, those factors pale in comparison to the exhilarating "human-pinball-machine" sensation I get whenever I enter one of your creations. Like a frightened f***ing squirrel, I have to look around spasmodically in every direction to make sure I don't get slam tilted into another zip code by a kid, another car, a rogue parking block or a renegade shopping cart.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention that catacomb-like quality you invariably incorporate...I love the part where I think I've found a way out, only to come upon more spaces and a curb enclosed cul de sac, teasing me with a view of the exit just over that beautiful, grassy, wild-flower enshrined barrier! F***ing hell, man!

If I ever meet you, I'll be sure to communicate my appreciation for all you do with a sock full of lug nuts. Of course, being a de Sade, you'd probably like that...